Harper Lee Passes away at 89- Why?

“You never really understand a person… until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” 

And yesterday I heard the news, Harper Lee passed away. This year is filled with deaths of people in Literature and music world. I can't even begin to understand why.

Is the world done with legends?

Are they not a part of us anymore?

More importantly, are we sure we can live in a world without them putting their art and words in our lives?

Harper Lee had a Tom boyish life when she grew up in Alabama, US. She died before she could celebrate her 90th Birthday. I guess all she wanted was to see the world in her perspective and she did, she wrote about all she felt growing up, and wrote about the life everyone was living. Differences are present in every century, in every culture, but to revolutionize thoughts every time someone is treated in  a way they feel alienated, is something Harper Lee accomplished.

I've heard so many quotations from her first master piece over the years that have now become crystal clear and they give meaning to all she she wrote.

I'm positive that I don't have a unique approach or thought that someone else hasn't already articulated around. To Kill a Mockingbird is one of those books which is a legend in literary culture for standing apart thematically and stylistically.

“She was almost in love with him. No, that’s impossible, she thought: either you are or you aren’t. Love’s the only thing in this world that is unequivocal. There are different kinds of love, certainly, but it’s a you-do or you-don’t proposition with them all."

The world isn't done with legends yet, we are not saved yet. we are still lost souls looking for our missing puzzle piece, a place where we belong. A place where we are all treated equally and without any discrimination. Peace isn't all we crave. We long for 'belonging'

We long for our misplaced faith, we find it in the most uncertain of ways. Some might find it in love, some find it in the realms of chaos. Either way, you are bound to find your way. That's why legends stay with us forever, I mean if I take out this book after ten or twenty years I will know exactly how it made me feel. And if I am blurry on the details, I will read it again. Someone would see me reading the book in my favorite coffee shop or a foodie place and they will be inclined to read it again too. And if not again, there is always a first time for everything.

And No, I am not okay with these legends going away from us. There is so much they could teach us, there is so much they could give us, so much they could say, so much they can write and all that is lost as they pass away. Then we miss them a little less every year.

May you rest in piece, our legend and I wish we are able to keep you in our thoughts and in our lives forever.

“I need a watchman to tell me this is what a man says but this is what he means, to draw a line down the middle and say here is this justice and there is that justice and make me understand the difference.”

Irum Zahra

"Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic"

Though I've tried before to tell her
Of the feelings I have for her in my heart
Every time that I come near her
I just lose my nerve
As I've done from the start

Every little thing she does is magic
Everything she do just turns me on
Even though my life before was tragic
Now I know my love for her goes on

Do I have to tell the story
Of a thousand rainy days since we first met
It's a big enough umbrella
But it's always me that ends up getting wet

Every little thing she does is magic
Everything she do just turns me on
Even though my life before was tragic
Now I know my love for her goes on

I resolve to call her up a thousand times a day
And ask her if she'll marry me in some old fashioned way
But my silent fears have gripped me
Long before I reach the phone
Long before my tongue has tripped me
Must I always be alone?

Every little thing she does is magic
Everything she do just turns me on
Even though my life before was tragic
Now I know my love for her goes on

-STING

Love is You.

I can't even imagine someone saying these things to me, or someone close to me. I know it makes me sound like an idiot, but why do we have to depend on someone to be loved?

We can love ourselves right?

We can be our Valentine. We can be immortals loving ourselves and consuming ourselves like the Auroboros. 

We would look in the mirror everyday and smile. Smile at the person with flaws and insecurities. I know it sounds cliche but what if you could look pass those horrible things in your past and you make it positive, redeem yourself. Be happy with who you are and let go of all things dragging you to hell and below.

We are broken people, trying too hard to fit in, making ourselves starve or over-eat because 'people' aren't happy with how we look, how we dress and how we feel.

Screw them. Screw them all.

We need to feel alive in our own skin and if we like eating, we should. If we like being bony, we should be able to. You are art.

Look like it.

Fall in love with yourself. Somehow.

Find a flaw, start loving more everyday. A bit everyday. I know this is boring. I know you get tired of the same movies, same blog posts same books same music, GOD NO.

Obviously it is all the same, This world is such a tiny place. We all look alike, we all feel the same feelings, love, hate, disgust, compassion, affection, pity, anger. So yes, the songs sound the same, the world looks the same, the blog posts are long and boring and yes the movies all have the same plot.

I know it may look like the world is ending, but its not. I am here. Everything is there, he cars, the buildings, the people, the endless line of events, art galleries, concerts, travels, money, books, they are all here, this world doesn't stop when someone dies, its selfish, but it is the truth, so why should your life stop because someone leaves? if they left you, it doesn't mean the word is dead. everything, EVERYTHING, is there for you, as if you never left too love a person who doesn't love you back or care for you or doesn't think you are beautiful. these things, these people, they belong to you, like they belong to everyone else, this air you breath, its yours, it belongs to your flaws. it belongs to your insecurities. so what if you feel sad when you listen to closer by Kings of Leon. but at the end of the song you can hear the music healing you, and you listen o that song on repeat and you know, this sting song makes sense too! all the storms hide under the skin of your flaws! love yourself to brig them out, to change the world, make the world known of your presence. that you matter, so the next time you leave, this world for someone else, it misses you, when you're gone.

But try to find that flaw and start to love it even if you don't.

Be yourself.

Try to look at things from a different perspective everyday. One day, imagine you were an artist, the other, being a musician.

Please, trust me. I know it will be weird but you can do it. Love yourself please.

Love.

Yourself.

You are the love of your life.

Invictus By Irum Zahra

Reflections In The Right Venticle

Darlin. Your heart is a machine.
An organ.
A blood pumping mechanism.
Not something with endless feelings and hollowness ready to consume your body when it breaks into a million pieces.
Maybe it is that too.
Maybe it is all you are.
Your heart becomes you when you keep reminding yourself everyday that you are you when your heart rules you and your emotions.
Now I know people tell you that your heart is the worst thing you have because it doesn't see clearly and it makes ridiculous choices but honey,
Your heart is where it all began. Where God lives.
How can it present you with lies?
You can see through the mirror laughing back at you because it is so indulged in hopes and false feelings.
Maybe you love a rock. Maybe a broken pencil.
Maybe maybe maybe.
Your whole life is a maybe.
Don't be someone who moves against the current of the blood flow.
Make your heart your guide.
Make it visible in yout eyes when you see yourself in the mirror.
And goddamn it, LIVE.
#Invictus
Reflections in the right ventricle
Copyright , #IrumZahra

Life and other disasters-Invictus

More than often you are surrounded by the puzzling questions of life and it's substitutes.
Love, drugs, music, travelling, books, photography, Cooking and so many others.
You call them interests when you start them and when you start replacing the uninteresting and somewhat annoying and even the most hated of things with these interests, they travel through time and space to create a new door for you.
A door to escape
A door to feel yourself through the eyes of your interests.
That is exactly when these doors become the substitutes for life.
You forget living through life itself and you begin living through them.
Everytime you feel blue and you think the world will end, you go through these doors and feel alive.
Ironic.
Life loves us and we love these doors more than we love life.
Why?
I don't know.
Do you?
No.
Because whatever you say or think will be an excuse. A reason.
You will start defending your wild and free heart.
Sighs.
Heart is such a kid. It is more than a 100 years old old man and a 5 year old kid on a swing at the same time.
He loves these doors and he makes sure you believe that you don't and you won't live without these things.
Where would you go if not these doors?
Will you be lost?
Or found?
Accept it. You'll always choose these doors over everything.
Question is, for how long till it locks you out and leave you with no keys?
What would you do then?

Life and other disasters, #Invictus

Giveaway Alert!

Here is your chance to get Goodreads Poetry Semi Finalist book "Psychaotic'

A divine combination of Gothic and free verse Poetry and passages.

Here is what you have to do!

 

Vote for the Book on Goodreads Poetry section, and inbox the author with your email address!

You'll get an ebook in your email ASAP!

AAAAANNNNDD! If you win the giveaway, You'll ge

1. A signed Copy of Psychaotic

2. Beautiful Hand made Bookmark

3. A beautiful Keychain

Here is the giveaway link:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23678552-psychaotic

 Email for more info : irumzahraofficial@gmail.com

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Good Luck!

Mirrored Voices: Best Contemporary Poets

I'm very Happy and Honored to announce that the third installment of the Poetry Anthology Series, ‪‎Mirrored Voices:

Mirrored Voices: Best Contemporary Poets

‬ is Published! It has writers and Poets featured from around the globe.
I am lucky and honored to be in it as well.
I have 4 books on my credit now. Congratulations to all the authors who are featured in this literary history making event.

This combined poetic anthology embraces free thinking of the untapped mind and spirit. The vast array of best contemporary poets from around the globe share their voices together in harmony. Various styles and thoughts flourish amongst the pages, bringing emotions to life and creating beauty from nothingness. The writers included in this collection have been selectively chosen to represent the best modern talent of the age. The list of extraordinary poets featured within include such great talent as:

Paul Morabito, Aric Cushing, Jason P. Hein, Laura Madeline Wiseman, Regina Puckett, Laura Crean, R.M Romarney, Clarissa Simmens, Mark Green, Irum Zahra, Laura A. Lord, Regis McCafferty, Roberto Carlos Martinez, Linda Dobinson, Robert G. Brown, Carolyn O'Connell, Sherry Rentschler, Ben Ditmars, Christopher Meesto Erato, Jill Roberts, Dr. Leesa Abbott, Nichia Morales, Andrea McKenzie Raine, Koyel Mitra, Helle Gade, Terri Cannon, Jerome Michael Bailey, Harika Kottakota, Hafsa Idrees and Kristy Rulebreaker.

Here is the Amazon Link:

http://www.amazon.com/Mirrored-Voices-Best-Contemporary-Poetry/dp/1514323966/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1435018247&sr=1-4&keywords=paul+morabito

To Play A Broken Record

I hate it when I am trying to write about things such as life, career, parents, friends, freedom, life and death…

But my entire mind agrees to talk about you.

I keep trying to rewrite what I have, remake what I am. And all I manage to think is how you are so content with happened to us, that you sleep just as perfectly fine as any other person. A person who isn’t in love, and why? Because you say that there is no time and space left for real love. So what am I supposed to do then? Cry?

I sure as hell have cried too much. Way too much, and I keep missing you. Not on big occasions, well yes on them too…but on little things. Like your favorite coffee…like your favorite place to eat and how you like to eat. Your disgust on things…and it makes me utterly allergic to that specific thing at once with no reason other than you, you alone. Every time I try and focus on things, you’re the one who sneaks inside my brain and corrupts it. Suddenly I want your hands wrapped around my waist. And your lips near my ears telling me to slow down. Because there is a coldplay song on the radio in your car; and you want us to be in that song.

Together

It really is; a shame for us to part.

Am I supposed to forget you? Like you forgot me?

I was your psycho. And you were my therapist. I fell in love with you. And you tore yourself away from me. You should, come back and haunt me. Even for one more time.

Just once

I want to show you how I have learned to smoke so secretly. I want to tell you how many drugs I have tried. I want you to see my eyes. Darkened with sleeplessness and I want to prove to you that I am not a drag.

No.

I am doing something with my life.

I am trying. I am fighting.

Not just to survive, but to live.

I am brave.  I am living without you.

It’s a hard thing to do, but I am trying to.

One day, I’ll see you. You’ll be right in front of me. And I would be able to reach out and kiss you.

I am waiting for that day. I am still hoping…Which means I am alive.

To Play A Broken Record, Psychaotic

Order Here:

irumzahraofficial@gmail.com

This Is Me-Psychaotic Author Review

*Psychaotic* is my debut Poetry Book.
It is the first of its kind here in Pakistan. I am Pakistan's first free verse Gothic Poet to be published Internationally.
*Psychaotic* is a word play of two words and two feeling. Psycho and Chaotic.
I believe that everyone has these sides and they choose whether or not to open or disclose that side with people or not.
Psychaotic reads you while you are reading it and it connects the inner most desires and feelings with the flow of words. I wanted to write all these thoughts on paper because I wanted to connect the reader to the people like him or her. There are so many people in this world who feel like the have lost everything and they cannot go on without someone but this, this book, it tells them that there is life after that. That they are not alone in that hurt and agony. I know and I understand what you are going through. This book is for the delusional, for the bipolar, for the insane and crazy people. It is for the introverts who swallow their anguish and hate and keep it locked inside their hearts. It is for the people who feel alone in a crowd of 1 million.
I am here to tell them, whatever hardships they suffered, whatever pain they felt, They are not the only ones. There are people like you. They are here to help you, to talk to you, to love you.
You are special.
Psychaotic is my mirror. You read this book, you'll know me.
If you read this book, and you connect with even one of it's words, do let me know.
This book is my prize. I want to reach out to everyone through this book
Remember: You're loved.

Happy Reading!

Look For Love-Psychaotic

Look for love

I had an interesting conversation a while back regarding love and how you shouldn’t find love, but it finds you. And that people who search for it never find it.

Is that fair? I don’t believe so. People are lonely and broken and they often lose hope of anything good to ever happen to them. The only thing they hold on to is the faith that one day they will be loved.

If you say don’t look for it, then what is the purpose of it all? Why shouldn’t we look for a reason to smile?

A reason to live

A reason to hold onto life

You are indirectly implying that stay where you are, stay sad and alone and one day love will knock on your door and you’ll be saved. No… that…almost never happens. Not everyone is that lucky. People need something to build their dreams on.

So why stop looking?

Maybe it’ll make you pathetically sad or maybe it will fill your heart with a million smiles

Both, even.

Our problem is, that we look for love in all the wrong places.

You know exactly what would happen, you know your heart will break but you love anyways

You decide to make this mistake

You don’t stop

And you fall

And when you get up, there is little hope left in your heart

But it’s there right?

All it needs is a rekindling spark.

And you know when you’ll be restless for someone to talk to you, look at you.

Tell you that you are beautiful with all your flaws.

We all have these measures in which we calculate how much a person loves us. And we all want them to love us the way we want them too. At the same time, they are also expecting us to love them the way they want to be loved.

And there you have it.

The ultimate reason of why we always break up on the common Not-being-Good-enough theory.

Why can’t we let people love us the way they want to?

Maybe we would be better that way.

Maybe we would change in a good way.

But do we want to change?

Do we want to create a separate measure of love?

No.

We don’t.

We always cry and gossip on how we want to change and how bored we are.

But in reality we are all so comfortable in our own bubbles that we just scream change from inside. We don’t actually want to come out and transform ourselves.

The day we understand that about ourselves,

Is the day we will know that we are good enough for anyone who says they love us.

Irum Zahra, Psychaotic

What Is Our Mistake-Visit to Old Age Home

“I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.” Maya Anglou.

I began writing this article at 12 a.m. I didn't know how I felt about writing children abandoning their parents into this cruel world. It is sickening, yes. But it happens. When parents get old, they get cranky and they need things and they want your time and I understand that most of us feel annoyed all the time. After all, we have our social lives, our social status, our work and our free time. We love our parents no matter what.

Why Old homes then?

Why were they made if we love our parents so much?

I always wondered about these things and to be honest I never really spent more than an hour thinking about it until I met Samana. She is running an NGO without all the fancy cars and fancy events and charity concerts by the name of Josh.e.Junoon. She told me that she visited an Old home, MGQ Memorial Trust located on Murree Road, Rawalpindi. She sent some photos of the visit too.

I was stunned. To be honest. A place like that exists here? In Pakistan?

I thought EAST and PAKISTAN had that traditional love your parents and eat and sit with them and consult with them in every life decision aura.

Was I wrong?

I took more details from her. Her whole team went to that average old age home for a day and met with 24 elderly people. They were all so happy to see this much gathering, I felt as if they thought they were celebrating Eid with their families!

Hugs and love all around. They didn't even know them! But they loved them anyways.

Why? Because parents are selfless. They love all our flaws and all our wrong doings. In Pakistan, to be very blunt, our whole family system works and stands on the support of parents and their parents and our close relatives, like uncles and aunts. And this system, was working perfectly, till we, our generation started to build their lives outside our homes.

We started ignoring them, took decisions without asking them and snapping at them when they stopped us from doing something.

The pain, I saw, in the pictures… I feel as if we would all end up like that.

Alone and waiting for our children to come and laugh and play with us.

Team Josh.e.Junoon took an extended tour to know about all things in the old home. There were few blankets, no coolers for the in the summers and God did they miss home cooked food.!

They are all going there on 31st with coolers, blankets and home cooked food. Along with the most important thing: LOVE.

They are all waiting for their sons and daughters (Now very elite and socially high standard) to come and spend time with them. I wonder where they are. No, actually, I am thinking about Karma. If we are doing this to our parents, won’t our children do the same to us?

I can’t imagine living alone and unloved. Do you?

I am ashamed. As a Pakistani. And As a Muslim.

An Islamic state is supposed to have Islamic morals. Islamic rules.

Where our parents should come before anything else, and we listened and obeyed them for all the right reasons.

We need to love our parents. While we still have them. If we still feel untouched, I suggest we should look at the wrinkled cheeks and hands of these old home inhabitants.

Al they need is love and care. Nothing else. We need to be more patient with them. They are our ticket to heaven right? Then why not love them out of greed?

I salute Samana and her team Joshe.Junoon for stepping up and bringing love and attention to those, who are put aside by our own Islamic, Pakistani Nation.

For the love of God. Don’t lose your only way out of harm. They brought you here in this world and their prayers made you a socially acceptable person.

If anyone wants to contribute to the cause Samana and her team from Josh.e.Junoon has started, Please contact the Facebook page of Josh.e.Junoon.

https://www.facebook.com/junoonijazba/timeline

Article By Irum Zahra For Beyond Sanity Publishing and Josh.e.Junoon

Here are a few pictures from the visit:

Ariel by Irum Zahra

My Dear Ariel

I was there when you were born

Red and little, so fragile

So beautiful

You were my angel

And my companion

My pillar of hope

And all that I wanted

I taught you how to ride a bicycle

And fell and broke your arm

I was sorry but you got better

And I knew no one can do you harm

One day our toys broke

And all our story books got soaked in the rain

We went to live under the sun

With glass walls around us

There were people who wanted to hurt you

And I kept all of them away

We prayed for a roof of our own

And God showed us a new way

I bought colors and pages for you

And you drew us and a cozy weather

You built new toys and I watched you play

Our walls started to grow weak

And we had to leave again

We had grown past the plants

And the kittens born in our yard

They were no longer little

They had lives of their own

I taught you how to smile

When you felt like hell inside

We made golden masks

With smiles fixed on them

We fooled everyone

Our friends and our foes

We sold all our toys

And started having fun

Day by day we lost

Every little part of us

And the masks became us

We stayed by each other

And you taught me how to stay me

I broke my walls like you broke your arm

I fixed myself too, but I was never that strong

Hush, dear rabbit

We’ll be okay

When the world crashes

And the glass walls shatter

We would still have each other

Arm in arm and it would be better

We’ll buy new toys for us

And we can’t afford them,

We’ll learn how to make them by ourselves

We’ll cry every night to sleep

And drink coffee everyday

You’ll be stronger than me

And I’ll lean on you then

When I’ll lose myself 

You can pull me from the river

We’ll stay up all night

And pray to the All Giver

I’ll always love you

As you will love me

We’ll cry together just as we laugh together

We won’t let the stones shatter our glass house

Even if they do

My dear Ariel

I’ll let no stone touch you.

Hush, dear flower

You’re my only hope in this world.

May you always find love,

In places I didn't

And may you get all your toys back

Along with your childhood

Psychaotic: See The World In Red And Black